sherburne love.
After the
fifth stall the smell went away. I carried the pitchfork, its height almost
matching mine, over to the blue wheelbarrow. I could hear her a couple stalls
away murmuring to the horses, speaking a language I wondered if I would ever
comprehend. A loud neighing behind my left shoulder startled me back to the
task at hand. If I mucked this row of stalls I could ride her horse for a few
minutes. Then after I would go to the Veterinary Office with her as she
finished the day’s duties –maybe I would be able to hold a few animals. I
entered the stall and got to work, sifting through soiled shavings and chatting
with the mare. Audrey most likely saw
the situation as if she had to babysit me, might as well have me help
her at the barn – I saw it as a gift to have a glimpse into her life and t0 play
with some animals.
As I became
self-absorbed in battling the perils of adolescence, Audrey embarked on her
adult life. She left the brick house on Middle Road in Farmington, Connecticut
and moved to the House of Love that sat at the end of another Middle Road in
Portsmouth, New Hampshire. She didn’t look back.
She was in
her early twenties, but at six years her younger she seemed like a full-fledged
adult. So when my mom told me that Audrey bought a house and later engaged, I
wasn’t shocked because that is what I thought adults do. She was only 23.
Her other
half, Josh, naturally became part of the family, embracing his role as the
comedian and peace keeper. It was at our cousin’s San Diego wedding where he
truly experienced the Perri family – and still wanted to stick around. She
found a keeper.
---------------
I left for
college while navigating my own muddy waters. At that point I was naturally
closer with my younger two siblings and finding common ground with the second
oldest, Leah. Audrey was simply my eldest sister who lived in New Hampshire and
created a life of her own. My mom would share the big updates on her life or I
would eavesdrop in on conversations. I respected her from afar as my mind was
too young to make sense of her world.
As much as
Audrey strived to be independent from the family, she never lost the maternal
instinct that the oldest sibling inherits. When the time called for it, she
would swoop in and care for us. She had this uncanny ability to check in and
check out when her siblings needed that guidance.
Several years
later I left America to start this never-ending journey of self-discovery and
global exploration. When I started putting my thoughts into words and sharing
my story, my elusive sister Audrey commented on my writing with praise and
encouragement. I didn’t realize how much her recognition meant to me until she
gave it.
Summer of
2014 was peaking and my road decidedly was bringing me home to the States. Not
wanting to return to Connecticut, Audrey gave me the option to move in with her
and Josh to help her with their new son, Geovanni, and get my feet on the
ground.
I agreed,
unknowing that they would do much more than that.
Audrey was my
mysterious older sister. She was a blue ribbon winner, a wife, a home owner, a
writer. She was a force at family gatherings and holidays, her personality
dominating the room. I didn’t know her as well as my other siblings but admired
her more.
Within weeks
of my return home the Perri family’s matriarch, Noni, passed away. I admittedly
do not handle death well and the loss of my last grandparent was far from easy.
While grieving, I was also adjusting to life back in America, job searching,
and pondering my future plans. I withdrew from the chaos. Naturally, Audrey’s
maternal side kicked in and she took charge. She kept me from losing all that I
have gained, from losing my sense of self.
Josh and
Audrey welcomed me into their home, not as a guest but as a member. They have
provided for me, more than just with accommodation. I am forever grateful for their unconditional
support. They were my cheer leaders and my devil’s advocates. They picked me up
off the floor or gave me space when needed. They talked me through my guilt,
beliefs, and plans for the future. They shared their world with me.
We survived
an epic New England winter together, and those snowed in days and nights led to
storytelling. I didn’t know, or didn’t remember, the details of their love
story before becoming roommates so hearing it and seeing it gave hope to the
hopeless romantic in me.
On the first
day they met, their souls ignited when they recognized their counterpart in one
another. Past life, future life, and present life cosmically came together. To
find someone who captures your heart and will never release it is rare in this
world.
The decision
was made before the words were said, it would be forever. Within a few months
after first meeting each other they were living together and then bought a
house. Within a few months from becoming homeowners they were engaged. Then in
early October of 2007 they made their vows to eternally love one another
official in front of friends and family. Eight years later, that fire within
them has not died out.
I learn a lot
from other people’s stories, experiences, and lives. I’ve seen a lot of relationships
fail, struggle, and survive. Audrey and Josh’s partnership is thriving. They
have been through their fair share of challenges, and not every day is a
honeymoon. They were 23 when they bought a house and moved in together. When I
was in my mid-teens that seemed ancient, however now at 26 I cannot even fathom
how they accomplished it all. They found each other early on and identified a
love that was bigger than them - a genuine love that allowed them to conquer
every obstacle thrown their way together.
A union of
two souls originates outside of time and space. However, the pure pearl of
natural love cannot persist in our worldly environment without protection. Humanity’s
ability of conscious thought and emotion requires nurture for that union. I
believe communication, support, and respect are the founding pillars of any
kind of friendship or relationship. Audrey and Josh built their marriage upon
those pillars.
They not only
shared their home with me; they shared what the term soul mate really means. As
I proudly claim, I will never settle for a love that is less than
extraordinary. They have a love that challenges, laughs, questions, kisses,
supports, and protects – a love I hope one day to have.
---------------------------
The bonds
with each of my siblings have evolved from childhood companions to life allies.
Audrey, the new matriarch, Leah, my North star, Anthony, our gentle giant, and
Laurel, my honest rebel.
The family I
was born into and the family I have chosen are the most important people in my
life. Individually they complete me.
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