winter poems

bitter joy.

waking with the sun
struggling to meet its warmth
anew with optimism
that lasts but a brief moment
dull drumming behind my heart
a beat that serves me restless sleep
a beat that steals my thoughts in waking

the certainty in my choice is cracking
with each day I walk away from what was
and am blindly led to what will be

every so often
joy takes hold of my soul and sings loudly
a siren calling me home
when I look into those blue eyes
when I cradle the cushion of newborn life
I look down into bliss
one of which is not mine
but which I borrow
how long can I make it last

shall I wait
holding the hand of innocence
small fingers resting in my palm

waking with the sun
cold sweat meets bitter realization
time to return my gifts
to their creators
I have my own legacy to leave
the drumming fades
no longer consumed
but whole once more.

escape artist.

I pull you in with my stories
my wise words
my lofty dreams
I build bridges to burn them
as I can’t let you catch up to me

I keep at a distance
heart guarded
soul surrounded
body enclosed
for there is joy in endings
this habit I cannot explain
no ties, just a memory
and not a reason to stay
lets me walk freely
with less guilt to carry

selfish and selfless
which tattoo brands me
do I sabotage
or subconsciously know my fate
do I escape
or run with faith
do I fear commitment
or embrace change

with no reason to stay
I follow the torch
down this path meant for one
leaving you behind where I met you
where is the remorse
when I only look ahead

many moons.

the pen has not been lifted
in many moons since
I fell into pace
with the others’ gait
the routine has drowned me
rinsed away fleeting thoughts

the lack of fulfillment
creates a deafening space
this void consumes me
its grasp I try to escape

I am cloaked with indifference
a foreigner among family
trying to sow without seeds
building a straw house
in a storm

I wear another’s boots
testing the weight of that role
failing to justify
this faulty reality

the seasons change
and the fog lifts
leaving me
to face my truth
once lost in stability
attempting to create
with broken ties
and silently destroy
with empty promises
I walk away
shedding the weight
and pick up the pen
once more.

old friends.

I sit across from you a stranger
yet you know my soul completely
we carry crosses
neither alike
but both a burden

the innocence of youth escaped us
leaving scars to bear
and memories to relive
once wild and reckless
bringing the world to its knees

we stood at the crossroads
shawls wrapped around our shoulders
our differences clear
I strayed from the path
to forge my own
sailing with the wind
breeze behind me
sun before me
chasing long days

walking down the dusty road once more
I returned to familiar smells
old patterns
and separate lives

we share a past
the lone tie between us
knotted for strength
for every reunion
warps time and space
carrying old friends
to new places
holding so much in between

worn leather

the decision
gave new life
to shallow breath
flowers blossomed
wings took flight
a new dawn emerged
another funeral
on another life
homage is paid
to each moment that passed

the bag emerges
from the depths
of the dark corner
resting among
fairy thoughts
and luminous dreams

worn leather
eager to be thrown aboard
stuffed and carried
crossing borders
holding secrets
molded for comfort

and ever ready


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