Inspire or Influence?

Does this inspire me, or influence me?

A simple question that has sparked a spring cleaning. 

It has taken a long time to learn how to love, appreciate, and adore my body. I saw rolls, dimples, and scars, rather than strength, resilience, and beauty. I yearned for angles when all I had was curves. I figured lack of love was due to the lack of a flat stomach. I was mad that my pants size was bigger than my mother's. Since there was no devotion to this temple, I didn't respect it with the food that tried to fuel it. I turned my back on the one thing that would be with me for this life. 

On this soul-searching journey, I've reconnected with my Self. I apologized, asked for forgiveness, and showed up to show my loyalty. I've learned to love all that my body is, and all that it does for me. I've also learned to give my heart to someone who sees ME, rather than body parts. 

It has taken me thirty years to love myself, and next year it will have taken me thirty-one. Self-love is a choice I must make daily. It takes time to dismantle hardwired thoughts of worth being earned and love being won. It takes time to change the stories you've told yourself daily. It takes time to release the memories of judgement others have put upon your body. 

I feel that I've come so far in re-claiming my truth, my power. I trust the heart compass that leads me, I listen to my body, I know what my values are. So why is it that when I see a picture of a woman in a flashy spandex outfit, with no rolls in sight, doing a hollow back forearm stand on a picturesque beach with a quote about the ease of yoga practice, do I retract inwards and plummet down into the bleak well of self-hate?

Why does a pesky thought creep up over my shoulders into my head make me doubt myself as a yogi. Well since I can't do that pose, I shouldn't teach yoga. Or the thought tries to convince me, people will only take your classes if you post flashy poses. 

Why am I comparing myself against a stranger on the internet? 

I continue mindlessly scrolling and my mind captures images of wealthy celebrities on vacation, living room furniture that implies stylish comfort, and memes to make me rationalize any vice - all of these images being subconsciously filed away to later haunt my self esteem. 

After a late night of clicking through the rabbit hole and finding myself feeling low, my body feeling heavy, and my heart feeling defeated, I came up for air. With that breath of awareness, I reminded myself of how far I've come, and all that I've achieved - far too much to let envy and covetousness take over. 

I, like many others, have a love-hate relationship with social media. I've documented my travels through pictures and stories for family to see. It has allowed me to stay in touch with people from every chapter in my life. I've learned of social gatherings and volunteering opportunities. It has helped me network and land jobs. It has given me as much opportunity and connection as it has taken away from me. Yet when we've used social media as a platform for manipulation rather than truth, and to boast rather than share, we've corrupted it. Yes - we should absolutely be proud of what we've achieved, be able to speak our minds and share our story. However, we need to be mindful of where the message is coming from. Is it coming from a place of compassion, empathy, and joy? Or is it created out of hatred, anger, or jealousy?

Since social media isn't going anywhere and since it has become an extension of ourselves, I decided to take stock. 

Does this inspire me, or influence me? I used this simple phrase to discern how to purify my social media. Now, when I am scrolling I look at a post and ask the question, does this inspire me, or influence me? If any feelings of influence, jealousy, shame, or frustration arise, I unfollow them. Easy as that. They won't miss me, nor even know I'm gone. If I see a post that makes me smile, helps me release the tension in my brow, or gives me butterflies, I keep them around. 

So I've unfollowed all memes - they weren't adding anything to my life. Those angsty people from my youth whom I never speak to, I don't need a window into their world. Those who are trying to sell me something by making me believe my life isn't complete with out it, gone. I still follow people with opposite life views from me, but only if their message is portrayed in a way that doesn't try to conquer or convince. Does this celebrity figure inspire me with their acts of service and kindness to others? If yes, follow, if no, unfollow. When I see pictures or names pop up, what visceral reaction comes over me? I've let my intuition decide. This spring cleaning has flushed out what no longer serves me on the social media level. It is one effort in the larger process of cleansing to find clarity. 

Unfollowing people on social media, hiding ads, and snoozing posts have significantly cut down on my screen time. That, coupled with time limits I have set on my phone, have increased my ME time. I've found a way to balance the force of social media that works for me.   

Today's society has equated accumulating things to success. This pageantry of material belongings and boasting of expensive privileges implies a level of wealth has been achieved. Since our society views wealth on a pedestal, the more you have, the more successful you are. 

But slowly, we're awakening. We're returning. We're turning away from all that we've been trained to add to our lives - new clothing for each season, university degrees we're convinced to earn, and vacations we can't afford - so that we can turn inward.  We're regenerating and beginning again from a perspective that is sublimely simplistic: we are all connected. 

Yet now people are returning to this truth through connecting online. By connecting virtually we've disconnected in reality. We've disconnected from ourselves and each other. We're searching for human connection through a device, rather than in our immediate communities. It is a bizarre and unfortunate phenomena to see people come together to share a meal and conversation, but instead are on their phones connected to people who aren't around the table.  

Nevertheless, social media can still be used as a step in the process to reconnect humanity. A shared post about a job opportunity gives someone a new career path. A traveler finds a familiar face in a new country through a mutual friend. A yoga teacher posts inspirational words to remind others they aren't alone on their journey. A grassroots movement creates an event to bring together the local community in support of social justice. All ways social media has connected me with likeminded people and wholesome movements. Good can be done with it.

I hope we've hit a peak for what social media has become. I hope we can all begin to cleanse our lives from the thoughts, things, and habits that fail to serve us and extinguish our inner flames. I hope that we're emotionally intelligent enough to control social media, so that it doesn't control us. The same message that is thread through every yoga teaching can be applied to social media: seek balance.  












Light Heart. Light Spirit. Light Body. Light Mind.